(Note from Jeff: Although I rarely write poetry, the spirit sometimes moves me to express my thoughts in this form. This is a recent work, inspired by my year in Afghanistan as a soldier in the Illinois Army National Guard.)
There’s a Soldier lying bleeding
Half his leg is blown away
Feels his life is slowly ebbing
As the night engulfs the day
As he lies there, crushed, immobile
His blood pulsing, his nerves raw
Feels like someone’s butchered his leg
With some cruel demonic saw
And he looks up at the starlight
As he cries in agony
He is taken by the beauty
Of the heavens he can see
As the heavens blaze in glory
With a thousand points of fire
Dying Soldier stares in wonder
Only able to admire
And his mind cannot stop racing
As he feels his death draw near
Til one question crowds out every
Thought of memories held dear:
“Should I focus on the beauty
Should I focus on the pain
Should I focus on the question
That keeps racing in my brain?”
This last question now consumes him
Alternating pain and bliss
As he feels his leg and sees the sky
And creeps towards the abyss:
“Should I focus on the beauty
Should I focus on the pain
Should I focus on the question
That keeps racing in my brain…
“What’s the purpose of our living
Full of joy yet full of pain
Always hopeful, yet despairing
Without seeing what we gain?”
So he looks with awestruck wonder
At the stars above his head
Til the insane pain devours him
And his solace now has fled
Now he screams out in surrender
Yet fights back with bitter tears
To look up, his eyes raised skyward
Seeking grace from twinkling spheres
He knows not if he can choose
Between the beauty or the pain
He will rage in his despair
Yet seek escape in bliss again
“Should I focus on the beauty
Should I focus on the pain
Should I focus on the question
That keeps racing in my brain…
“What’s the purpose of our living
Full of joy yet full of pain
Always hopeful, yet despairing
Without seeing what we gain?”
As the Soldier lays there dying
He sighs “Lord I did my best”
He takes one more look towards heaven
Then he shuts his eyes in rest
Later on the medic finds him
A faint smile still on his face
And the medic takes his body
From that consecrated space
We are all just like that Soldier
Pain inflicting us each day
Seeing death our final ending
Beauty found along the way
And our suffering is noble
It gives grace if we but see
That we earn each gracious moment
Though but fleeting it may be
Let us focus on the beauty
Let us overcome the pain
Let us find each other answers
For the questions in our brain
Jeff Courter
Copyright 2009
(Please feel free to share this poem with others who might find it inspirational or helpful in some way. However, all I ask is that you honor the copywrite and include full credit to the author. Thanks! Jeff.)
(Also note – to learn more about what it’s like to be a military trainer at home and in Afghanistan, check out my book, “Afghan Journal: A Soldier’s Year in Afghanistan.” Learn more at the Afghan Journal website. Or order it at Amazon.com.)
[...] My mil blogger wrote a beautiful poem that shows he is very much in favor of his actions despite the possibility of a painful death. He writes in his post A Soldier’s Question: [...]