“Suffering and joy teach us, if we allow them, how to make the leap of empathy, which transports us into the soul and heart of another person. In those transparent moments, we know other people’s joys and sorrows, and we care about their concerns as if they were our own.”
- Fritz Williams, former leader, Baltimore Ethical Society
Life is full of suffering. Everyone suffers. Everyone. Rich and poor, young and old, 
healthy and sick, men and women – even animals. We all face suffering at multiple times and on multiple levels during our lives. So what’s it really about, and why is it so deeply woven into our daily lives?
SUFFERING DEFINED
Suffering is rooted in pain – anguish we feel in our body, mind or spirit.
We’re all familiar with physical suffering encountered from time-to-time – triggered by wounds, torn muscles or tendons, broken bones or diseases. Often this stems from accidents, sometimes from oversights (for example, we pick up something hot, forgetting it may burn us), and sometimes it visits us as a by-product of life.
Emotional pain comes from sadness, grief, perhaps anger – these emotions trouble us deeply. It’s the equivalent to physical pain – it hurts us inside, and we tend to avoid it. Like physical pain, these negative feelings come to us unwanted, unwelcomed.
Why do we experience suffering? Why do we feel pain and sorrow? Why can’t we feel happy all the time? Why can’t we just feel pleasure and joy, without pain and sorrow?
SUFFERING & EVIL – INSEPARABLE LINKS
As I see it, suffering is most often related to evil. We feel pain and suffering because there’s evil in the world – both of our own doing and that of others. Of course, some suffering doesn’t appear to be directly related to evil, such as the loss associated with catastrophic natural disasters. But most suffering stems from routine human interactions that go awry.
AN ILLUSTRATION
Consider this chain of events: A woman ends a romance with a man, and the man feels rejected and hurt. He takes revenge on the woman by smashing some of her belongings, then goes out and gets drunk. Driving when he shouldn’t be, he hits an innocent pedestrian – the cycle of pain expands. The pain of the injured pedestrian is caused by the man’s actions, which were partially motivated by the woman’s action. Each is related to a preceding hurt.
A CLOSER LOOK
So where’s the evil in all of this? The evil lies in ignorance, as most evil does. The woman is so focused on her own needs, she doesn’t realize the harm she’ll cause. In fact, she may not even care about the consequences. As the man smashes his ex-girlfriend’s possessions, he doesn’t really know or care how that will affect her – nor does he know or care how his drinking will affect his driving.
IGNORANCE vs. MALICE
In this case, the evil isn’t driven by malicious intent. Instead, it’s more about lack of genuine concern or caring for fellow human beings. Our natural instinct is to be more focused on our personal wellbeing, than about anyone else on the planet.
Since no one is perfect, and each of us tends to be more self-centered than not, there’s plenty of opportunity for hurtful things to happen. As that hurt bounces from person to person, suffering’s footprint expands and intensifies. As long as we live in this imperfect world with imperfect people, we’ll suffer. Unfortunately, we’ll likely cause others to suffer as well – with some of us triggering more suffering than others.
WHY WON’T GOD STOP THE MADNESS?
Before we blame our God for our suffering, we must lay blame squarely on our selves. Humans are born with free will. And we are the primary cause of suffering in this world. Until we accept responsibility for that fact, it will never change.
WHAT’S A HUMAN TO DO?
Perhaps this all sounds too simplistic, and perhaps it is. If there’s a greater purpose for these endless cycles of painful cause-and-effect, it’s beyond me. With our limited, finite understanding, we probably wouldn’t appreciate the reason for our suffering, anyway.
Instead, it’s sufficient to understand that suffering exists – caused by human callousness, greed, apathy and lack of love for others. If we’re aware that our actions may create unintended suffering, we’re better prepared to rethink our options before we selfishly respond to life’s circumstances.
Of course, this is easier said than done. But it’s the best we can do. So I’m trying to anticipate potential consequences as a way of life (rather than just an exception to the rule.)
What about you? What examples of “chain reaction” suffering have you witnessed? Do you strive to look ahead? And how do you respond when suffering enters your life?
Jeff
